Who Are You
[ARCHIVE: I remember writing this in response to the current advertising campaign Nintendo had running at the time. I think I did okay, translating the game stories into epic descriptions.]
I am a hero.
I am a savior.
I am the one hope for civilization.
I am a blue-collar worker, thrust into a foreign kingdom. My enemy is a merciless despot, bent on the ethnic cleansing of a people whose only crime is being born different. I am a jack-of-all-trades, able to turn the most meager of resources to my advantage. I can fly, swim, and even wear the skins of my enemies. I traverse frozen tundra, scorching desert, even prehistoric jungles in my quest to for freedom.
I am a bounty hunter, crossing the reaches of space, shadowing mercenary geneticists. I have no family, no past. Chosen as the weapon of vengeance for an ancient and dead race, I embrace my destiny. I will cut a swath through my enemies, retrieving the seeds of their destruction from right underneath their noses. I defy physical laws, moving myself through impossible passageways and vaulting through viscous water. I assault my obstacles both living and inanimate, harvesting their own energy and munitions for my own.
I am a force of nature. I am hurricane incarnate. I am a black hole, unfillable, unstoppable, insatiable. There are no opponents that I cannot best, either with my own abilities or their own. I am a master engineer, able to utilize my enemies' weapons in combinations not thought of. I am fire, water, earth, wind. I am animal, vegetable, and mineral. I am anything and everything. And all I have to do is consume.
I am a fighter pilot, crossing the planetary system to end the rule of a galactic criminal. I risk my life in an limited-run experimental ship, able to outmaneuver frigates, dog fighters, bombers and ground gunners. I will block my enemy at every pass, eventually taking the fight to his doorstep. I can withstand urban guerrilla fighters, the creatures of endless oceans, even the fires of stars.
I am a timeless hero. Chosen by fate, only I can wield Evil's Bane and drive darkness from the land. I am a peasant boy from a reclusive people, champion of all. I alone embody the courage and the conviction to right what is wrong. I will gather the weapons of my ancestors, I will recruit the warlocks of the past, and I will find a way to once again restore peace.
I know who I am.
The question is, who are you?