A Study into "sk8r l33t"

[ARCHIVE: Looking at the Internet through the lens of sociology always gives me a laugh. Unfortunately, the LJ that inspired this post has since been shut down.]

Ladies and Gents, I present ElLie.

After my initial reaction of revulsion, followed by regurgitating bile, then righteous anger (with accompanied flaming), I came to ponder what it really meant. I don't mean the blog itself. Even translated, it would give drivel a bad name. What I began to think about the true intent of speaking/talking in this way.

Think about it. Even 1337 sp34k, its nearest relative, is a simple matter of character substitutions. Correct grammar is retained more or less. However, this new bastardized strain is detested by even the 1337est of the 1337. Careful observation and study throughout the Internet reveals that it is carried not by the disenfranchised, but by the infractors of the Internet. For reasons we shall see later, this shall be know as "sk8r l33t." Let us observe the main principles of SL.

• Chronologic Borders: SL is used primarily among Internet users fifteen years of age and lower. Upper outliers can been observed as far up as eighteen, and occasionally a freak can be found as far up as twenty, but never higher than that. Conclusion: SLs are teen/pre-teens.


• Cultural Boundaries: Decrypted passages have been found to tell tales regarding heartbreak, betrayal, boredom and depression. Unfortunately, little canned be gleamed from this information, as many humans experiences these things. Contextual clues are much more revealing. Worship and idolatry of certain figures like Avril and Britney implies a fascination with baseless and superficial objects. A "culture of nonculture," if you will. Note: For males of the species, there is a substitution of idols with patriarchal counterparts like 50 cent and Nelly. Conclusion: SLs are trendy morons.


• Social Boundaries: Directly related to culture, SL transcripts rarely talk about happenings outside their personal area of sight. Occasionally the rule is broken when natural disasters, but for the most part information is tangentially related in some way. Their bubble of interest is extremely limited, either because of or resulting in a self-important view. This view is shared by their acquaintances. Conclusion: SLs are arrogant and self-absorbed.


• Social Inferences: When one considers the first few points, we begin to pinpoint the source of SL. Trendy and arrogant teens fall into one general category: The In-crowd. These individuals are considered the alphas in the adolescent pecking order. Regardless of intelligence or substance, they see themselves as the trendsetters and are quite vocal about it.

Final Conclusion: The Internet is being poisoned by dumb fucks who don't belong here.
Remedy: Social Cleansing
[Of course, in my typically hypocritical way, it was okay for me to write whiny blogs, because I used proper grammar.]