Celebretard

[ARCHIVE: Something that I don't really touch upon here is my belief that the general public is also to blame for the star-centric media coverage. Larry King is guilty of pandering, but we as a people are guilty of actively showing interest in the baser things. We get the celebrities we deserve.]

How on earth did Larry King manage to worm his way into America's column of investigative and respected new presenters?

I only get a couple of English-language channels. All in all, I have the option of five movie channels (who love airing and re-airing Jurassic Park III), The Discovery Channel and CNN. I've found myself watching CNN increasingly, trying to keep on top of not only U.S. news but international developments as well. Gulf War II is still going on (and will for some time, thanks to Bush's Super Veto Technique Mark II). Tony Blair will retire soon, leaving British parliament in search of a successor. Pope Benedict recently made a tour of Brazil. Iran keeps getting more and more paranoid. The accursed times we live in are interesting indeed, with issues of humanity being played out in a thousand stages across the world.

You can imagine my disappointment then, when Larry King, interviewer of Vladimir Putin, Nelson Mandela and Yasser Arafat, had chosen to dedicate his show (at least one of them) to Paris Hilton's upcoming incarceration. The very mention of such notable people within the same paragraph makes my stomach turn, and I apologize for that, but a point must be made.

Paris herself is worthless. A living example of the famous for being famous, she likens herself to Princess Diana and Marylin Monroe while missing the point that the former was a tireless social activist while the latter was a comedic actor that actually had talent.

But somewhere during my childhood I associated Larry King with reputable. Maybe it was the suspenders and the rolled-up sleeves that spoke to my iconic image of an investigative reporter. Perhaps there was an impression of legitimacy due to being broadcasted on CNN. Maybe it was just the receding hairline and the old-timey microphone prop. I never paid much attention to the news back then except for the bigger social events and environmental disasters.

So how does this change my world view? Has Larry King fallen off the shelf of noteworthy news commentators? Is it a sign that CNN is slowly but surely descending into Hard Copy The Channel? Like any half-assed amateur aspiring reporter, I followed up on the story with my most informed and most reliable source, the Internet.

See, it seems Larry King has been pulling this kind of stool for years. I didn't give any thought to the chortles thrown his way over interviewing Marlon Brando because, hey, Brando's insane in addition to being ingenious. Plus, you don't mess with Jor El. But I apparently missed the "Anna Nicole Smith Memorial Trubte Week" earlier this year. I have no problem with people taking a moment of their time to remark on the passing of individuals (especially since it appears Smitha nd King were friendly). But to gush about them and rearrange your entire schedule to memorialize them is at best unprofessional and at worse a blatant sensationalist move.

But even apart from this, a cursory glance at his past guest list reveals a show that skews towards the celebrity and the paranormal. I'm not joking about the last one either; he has a panel of psychic "specialists" on like every other week. Imagine if Chris Matthews ever tried something like that.

Now one could argue that King's target material and audience are vastly different from some more hard-hitting like Hardball or The O'Reilly Factor (I hate him, but his material is undeniable on-topic with current pressing issue). But if this is the case, why do so many people celebrating King as a great news commentator and interviewer? How does one attract every single U.S. President since Nixon when one wastes time rehashing JonBenét for the fiftieth time, years after it initially occurred?

Larry King has an unjustly deserved reputation for greatness. Although he has held some great interviews, the quality stems from the guests, not from King's program or style. Nothing great about his program couldn't be replicated by somebody else who at least wouldn't parade sensationalism as integrity.